10.14.05 Poem by dan hightower

the heart may be fed by the mind in terms of how to act, but the reactions of the heart are not determined by the realities of the mind, and why is that? when all the arrows point toward a singular end and yet the detours are dangled like forbidden fruit in the gallant guise of appropriateness, this is the conundrum of late, a quizzical quandary where quelling seems quite unlikely, compelled by emotions to override the counsel of compatriots and ignore the sages in my friendship quiver, the givers of guidance, to what end to choose my own road, can the scar remain while overcoming the dilemma, can the knowledge be understood without the purging of the self, rectification isn’t an option but reconciliation may be, recovery is inevitable, but without a justifiable end the means meander and find the crevices of doubt in which to fester and grow, to cluster and clog the cogs making the machine, alternative sources toward a solution, finality never final indeed until the death of a thing… i traverse with enmity this collage of memory, wondering in adroit stupors the purpose of it all, to assuage past tremors or to simply learn where the new ones lay, the hidden innuendos, the falsities in the frolic are the twisting knives smarting over and again, almost a double edged dagger this thing, one hand lies the knowledge of the deed and the other the end of the entity, so i ask, where is the goodness in any of this? where lies the hope and the fragile delicate righteousness, where is it? it is gone in a word in a breath in a mumbled phrase devoid of truth yet holding in it the ingredients to ignite the imagination of infidelity, the goddamn images, will they subsist, desist in their continual banging and welting, a flogging flagellum of corset wearing hipsters with better aim than her decisions, at least truer perhaps in what they advertise, executing the slivers, the slight bitterness turns to disgust in the glimmer of a thought, from that to remote sadness for the possibilities seemingly now lost to a decision, and the worst part is i had no say, either in her mind or from me…