Gary Diamond

(04-10-1984 / Portsmouth, UK)

5 Minutes of ITV2 Fame


After a fair share of debauchery
stretched over a week
it had caught up with me.

I was in trouble
all exhausted
chewed up.

The television cameras had got us.
It was for some reality TV show
about building confidence
for being a best man.

They should have interviewed me
I’ve done it twice.
I was an unbeatable authority on the subject
and I knew my way round a speech.
I was a subtle talker.
Only a fool shouts his ‘truth’ from the rooftops.

The sun beat and the traffic beeped and it was all too much.
I felt like the drink in my hand was going to make me throw up.
It wasn’t good.
I was on the fourth hangover of the week now.
It was Thursday.
I wasn’t eating well.
I needed to repair and rest or I was going to expire.

Submitted: Sunday, February 24, 2008
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