Charles Hancock


A First Date


I was enjoying being alone
In my dimly lit comfort zone
Reading about Joey Ramone
In the latest issue of Rolling Stone

'Hey ho, let's go' I awkwardly sang
Then the kitchen telephone rang
I heard a hello with a country twang
It was that girl I wanted to bang

I was a little nervous at first
Took a drink to quench my thirst
Pick-up lines were well rehearsed
But still, planned for the worst

She was returning my earlier call
Felt a tightness in my abdominal wall
Would she go to the shopping mall?
Watch a movie starring Steven Seagal?

Maybe go eat and then roller skate?
Impress her with my one-legged figure eight
Whatever she wants, I'll accommodate
I swallowed hard and asked her for a date

My stomach was full of butterflies
She said yes much to my surprise
Wow, talk about the highest of highs
Jokingly, I asked if she liked french fries

She forced a laugh at my juvenile joke
Burn! She asked if I was cheap or just broke
I nearly died from a massive stroke
Said I didn't mean it, I just misspoke

That moment is when we both knew
No telling what this would develop into
I suggested chicken cordon bleu
At a new restaurant named Katmandu

But that is all long ago in the past
Time was slow then, now it's fast
Grateful she said yes when I asked
For today, she takes my name at last

Submitted: Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Edited: Wednesday, October 17, 2012

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