Treasure Island

Samanyan Lakshminarayanan


# A RISE AND FALL OF HUMANITY [INDIA'S FREEDOM] A DOUBLE ETHEREE POEM


{INSPIRED TO WRITE IN THIS FORM AFTER READING
KARIN ANDERSON'S 'BUTTERFLY MAGIC'}
[ a poem of ten lines syllable count equating
to line number]

then,
nation
India
got it's freedom
not through violence
it was through ahimsa
no arms and ammunition
a tribute to humanity
a mahatma brought out the human
humanity addressed humanity

after sixty years of independence
the leader addressing the nation
stands behind bullet protection
parade of troops showing strength
detectors showing fear
fear addressing fear
fearless trait then
a nation
with fear
now

[ ahimsa - non violence]
[mahatma - a great soul GANDHI]

Submitted: Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Edited: Monday, October 19, 2009

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Comments about this poem (# A RISE AND FALL OF HUMANITY [INDIA'S FREEDOM] A DOUBLE ETHEREE POEM by Samanyan Lakshminarayanan )

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  • Rajkumar Mukherjee (10/22/2009 7:03:00 AM)

    Dear Samanyan,
    Thanks for your invite to read and rate this poem.
    Nicely presented both in form and content.
    Good write always brings good marks so A10
    Rajkumar
    (My comments are also in ten syllable counts) (Report) Reply

  • Swatimalya Chattopadhyay (10/19/2009 11:10:00 AM)

    India's freedom was brought through ahimsa but after sixty years of India's freedom, the foundation of Ahimsa and humanity are no more existent.Violence is very much prevalent in the country.

    Very thought provoking, nicely written poem. (Report) Reply

  • Patti Masterman (10/18/2009 10:06:00 PM)

    What a cool form for a poem; and you have certainly done justice here; both to the form and to the poem. (Report) Reply

  • Sonya Florentino (10/18/2009 7:55:00 AM)

    this is the perfect form for this powerful and beautiful poem....and hopefully like the catterpillar/butterfly....change is always possible for the better.....bring back Ghandi, please! (Report) Reply

  • Seema Chowdhury (10/15/2009 11:07:00 AM)

    this is such a nice and thought provoking poem. thanks for sharing.
    all great leaders have left and afterwards we have forgotton their lesson and exapmles of life. i wish we can change ourselves and become honest and brave. (Report) Reply

  • AtreyaSarma Uppaluri (10/9/2009 11:42:00 PM)

    You’ve chosen the double etheree (double tetractys) for a good theme…and done justice to it. Interestingly, this is some significant coincidence that I happen to read this during the birth month of the great soul. # 10. (Report) Reply

  • Anand Madhukar (10/7/2009 12:05:00 PM)

    Brilliant. Not just because of the form but also because Mahatma Gandhi is someone I am devoted to.10. (Report) Reply

  • Raymond Rivera (10/2/2009 9:07:00 PM)

    I like to read philosophy on all sorts of things but this inspired me to look up on Gandhi, I don't know if he was a 'philosopher' but I'm sure had he some things to say.

    First, the format is amazing, the third time I read it was just to count the syllables, haha.

    I do not know much of India but it's sad to know that even a country founded on peace has a downfall. Best of wishes to you and your country.

    10 (Report) Reply

  • Shakuntala Sharma (9/23/2009 1:53:00 AM)

    wow! I like the format and I like the content 10 out of ten. I'm sure the poem would inspire others to try this format. thanks (Report) Reply

  • Patrick A. Martin (9/15/2009 10:32:00 PM)

    I read Indira's comment and I began to cry. My dearest flower don't you know that the whole world was at war with each other when Ghandi first went on his many fasts. It's that the world is in such terrible termoil that we need a non voilent uprising not only in India but in the world. (Report) Reply

  • Indira Renganathan (9/15/2009 10:05:00 AM)

    Though I lack very much in grammar about this etheree poetry I still can appreciate your writing and feel your hurt heart(mine too) ..but what is the use..? the whole world is marching on in this kind of track only...so, what is the use of telling others that my mother is bad or my family is bad..? so a humble request..try to treasure out all salient features of Mother Bhaarat, be it present or past...you tell me if I'm right...thank you (Report) Reply

  • Almedia Knight-Oliver (9/2/2009 10:41:00 AM)

    ' A Rise And Fall Of Humanity' your poem describes freedom through non violence... later
    freedom (humanity) becomes violent to protected itself.. ironic? (Report) Reply

  • Naseer Ahmed Nasir (9/2/2009 4:42:00 AM)

    Same is the story on my side of the wall. Jinnah's Pakistan has turned into the same situation even worse than you have described.
    Regards

    Naseer (Report) Reply

Read all 67 comments »

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