Losing your virginity
Is likely to be sh**
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be
Let’s be honest, is it?
...
I did everything I could
- which was nothing.
So there’s nothing left to do
- but do nothing.
...
I like a poem that hits you
Like a karate chop in the face
Short and sharp and straight and true
That knocks you out of place
...
Down behind the dustbin,
I met a dog called Lizzie.
I asked what she was doing,
'**** off, I'm far too busy.'
...
A soggy bit of paper
They found it in the bin
I said, It was a just caper
But they said it was a sin
...
If I turn to religion
I hope I’ll still be young
Not making desperate decisions
While I’m coughing up my lungs
...
I loved you with my hands,
I loved you underground;
You unveiled your master plan
Without making any sound.
...
You were my first cup of tea after work
You were the shower, washed the sweat and dirt
You were my well-thumbed naughty magazine
You were the newspaper in the morning
...
Screwed up like a piece of paper
Crumpled on the floor
Nice to meet you see you later
You’re not needed anymore
...