Alone With You Poem by Hyde

last year, i stayed a week with you.
i thought you’d change, but i guess i was wrong.
drugs and drinks are still the only things on your mind.
all that time i thought of you as someone that does not exist.
i took a plane by myself, because Trevor wanted nothing to do with you.
it seemed i was the only one who still truly loved you.
i arrived to see your smiling face and i knew everything was gonna be just fine.
we drove to your house and memories flooded back, both the good and bad.
at first all was well and i was truly happy for the first time in years.
then reality struck.
we were at the radio station burning some cds.
when you told me you’d be back, that you just wanted to see some friends.
and me not thinking straight said “i’ll see you soon.”
you didn’t lie, you did come back, and yet you wore a mask.
you frightened me, for i was not with my father, but a stranger of the past.
we walked home in the dark, at least you tried.
you zigzagged and stumbled right up to bed.
leaving me to cry.
you wanted me to sleep with you, so sleep with you i did.
you laid you hand upon my chest as if it were by accident.
but inside, i knew the alcohol was talking.
through the night i lay awake, too scared to fall asleep.
in the morning you had work, and i was fine with that.
but of course, that’s not all you had.
when working in a liquor store, it’s not that hard to guess.
again you came home tripping on your feet.
knowing who i was, but not caring.
i filled with rage and hurt.
i wanted to leave you, before i drowned in your filth.
but i couldn’t, for my home was thousands of miles away.
so i toughed it out right to the day where we would part our separate ways.
but luck was not with me that day.
my plane to safety had broken down.
my heart nearly stopped, another day with you.
i tried as best i could to hold back tears.
but still they came with all their might.
i know it must of hurt you, to see your daughter cry.
especially because she did not want to be in your presence.
but what can i say?
it’s the truth, the god-awful truth.
that night we slept in a hotel room.
with Christie of all people.
i thought you hated her?
it doesn’t matter, i don’t really care.
that night we went bowling.
and you became depressed.
how did you make it without a single beer?
we woke up early so i wouldn’t miss my flight.
you tried to go through security so you could be with me.
but no one would let you through.
so you broke down and wept.
you told me you were sorry.
you said you were a mess.
you told me that you loved me.
and i believed every word.
now crying we were both, and in a public scene.
but i had to leave you there, crying on your knees.
and then a wall of glass parted us.
i saw you sobbing into Christie’s arms, which made my heart crumble.
the time came for me to leave.
i looked back into your puffy eyes, then stepped into the winter chill.
the whole ride home i thought of you.
sometimes i felt angry, and sometimes i felt scarred.
but i couldn’t forgive you, not matter how hard i tried.
time passed on, and days without seeing you grew.
but then Mas died, a dear old friend.
mom and i flew out for the service.
knowing we’d run into you sooner or later.
you wore fake glasses and a pink bow tie.
a tie-dye long sleeve and brimmed hat.
i felt uneasy around you, especially after you gave me that hug.
for when you hugged me, i felt your hand slide across my butt.
i knew right then i wanted to leave.
so i left, and i haven’t seen you since.