An Unseen Mother Poem by Anita Khelawan

Trials and tribulation
Annihilation of one's psyche
Antagonizing phyical ain

I have the attributes of mother
A God mother perhaps but not a mother
I will love you to the end of the world
I love kids
I treat them with kindness and compassion
I've suffered a miscarriage in 2014 and a blighted ovum this year
I thought it would have been my year but it's not
I'm back to the drawing board
Unanswered questions
A tarnished faith
Why me Lord? Why me Lord? Lord why?
Is it me... What's wrong with me
Are we meant to have this family
I console myself in 'God knows best'
Heavenly Father give me the strength to accept what I can't understand

To my Afika... One day I'll see you again
To my Aidan... I'll hold you in my dreams

Even though I don't mind,
I don't t want to watch other people's kids grow up forever
I want my own.. It would be mine to keep
No more I'll watch her or him for a little while
He or she would be all mine for an infinite time
My lifetime and my lifelibe

I hurts to know that some women abort
While the few that keep them misuse and abuse
I'm just here with my miscarriage and blighted ovum

Life is not fear...

One day things will turn around for me.

Copyright © Anita C.R. Khelawan
Date: 06-12-2015