Treasure Island

Cindy Washington


Anxiety through my eyes


Wake up, check my phone, ask Siri whats on my schedule for today
Siri: you have 2 classes today and the first starts at 9: 05am
My first thought: 'let's just get through it,
and then I can come back to my dorm room'
The safest place in the world. The place of isolation.
The place where thoughts of judgement and insecurities are quieted
The place where I can unload the thousand pounds that sits on my chest

On the bus to campus, earphones in my head, music playing
The lady to my right sneezes,
And it begins:
'She's going to get me sick! ',
'Would it be rude if I pulled out my hand sanitizer right now? '
The old man opposite me stares
And it continues:
'Why is he staring at me? '
'Is there something on my face? '
'would he tell me if there's something on my face? '
These thoughts blaring louder than the music playing in my ears

Huddled masses of students get off the bus and walk to their classes
I hear giggling from behind me
And it persists:
'Is there stuff on the back of my jeans? '
'I shouldn't of worn these jeans.'
'Why God did I wear these jeans! ? '
My route to class is carefully chosen
shortest distance with the least amount of people

I enter. I take my seat.
Front row in the corner. Eyes front.
I can't see the faces behind me
I dare not turn back, whilst the chance of actually making eye contact
Eye contact:
The water-boarding equivalent to a socially anxious girl like me

Classes completed.
I head to the bus
A friend yells 'Hey Cindy! '
I turn towards him and raise my suddenly stiffened arm to wave
And it endures:
'Put your hand down'
'Why are you waving? '
'He probably thinks you're a loser for waving'
My hand drops faster than lightning
Small talk: the gun choice of your enemies

Home
I put down the backpack.
And I put down the thousand pound vest strapped to my chest
'I did it! '
Isolation, the only sound proofed to stop:
the insecurities, the worries, the voices that scream 'Help Me! '

This is my anxiety

Submitted: Monday, April 28, 2014
Edited: Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Do you like this poem?
0 person liked.
0 person did not like.

Topic(s): life

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Poet's Notes about The Poem

I wrote this poem, more as a story to show how anxiety runs the lives of its victimes

Comments about this poem (Anxiety through my eyes by Cindy Washington )

Enter the verification code :

  • Khairul Ahsan (4/30/2014 3:23:00 AM)

    A well narrated story, but how long can you bear this load? Please find some ways to deflate the burden of anxiety. Poetry, of course, is also cathartic. (Report) Reply

  • Herbert Guitang (4/29/2014 9:23:00 AM)

    Sometimes our emptiness or sadness in the key to make and write beautiful poems like this. SUPERB
    Please try to comment on my poems. Thank you so much (Report) Reply

  • Colleen Courtney (4/29/2014)

    So sorry for your anxiety, but it helped you to write an amazing poem! Find time to de-stress! But keep writing! (Report) Reply

Read all 4 comments »

Top Poems

  1. Phenomenal Woman
    Maya Angelou
  2. The Road Not Taken
    Robert Frost
  3. If You Forget Me
    Pablo Neruda
  4. Still I Rise
    Maya Angelou
  5. Dreams
    Langston Hughes
  6. Annabel Lee
    Edgar Allan Poe
  7. If
    Rudyard Kipling
  8. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
    Robert Frost
  9. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
    Maya Angelou
  10. A Dream Within A Dream
    Edgar Allan Poe

PoemHunter.com Updates

Poem of the Day

poet Alfred Lord Tennyson

It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
...... Read complete »

   
[Hata Bildir]