Bailey's Visit To The Vets Poem by Simon Gowen

I visited a place today,
Called arboretum vets
A lovely bunch of ladies
That cater for your pets

I stood upon the table
A lady held my paws
While another checked my temperature
Don't let them check on yours!

I liked her to begin with
She went straight for my heart
But then she stuck an instrument
Where I often poo and fart! ! !

I said goodbye to Simon
As they took me to the back
They made me go to sleep
And then they tampered with my sack.

The last thing I remember
Was the sound of something hissing
But now I am awake,
And I am sure there's something missing.

So we go back home to Simons place
I'm desperate for some food
But first I need to wash myself
Don't watch me, that's just rude! !

Now hold on just a minute
This doesn't look that good
That lovely bunch of ladies
Have taken my manhood.

Well it's not that bad I'm thinkin'
It doesn't hurt at all
Me and the girls at Hillmans
Well, we really had a ball! ! !