Banana Republic Poem by Charles Hancock

I woke up next to a dark haired young chick
After a sweaty night of wine, women, and song
In my favorite Banana Republic
Where it's hard to do any wrong

For just a little jack, I live like a king
Cars, discos, booze, blow, and caviar
My swag arrives weekly via aluminum wing
A cash filled duffle bag and a fine Cuban cigar

I'm aware that some frown upon my deeds
It seems that lawyers, guns, and money
Is what it takes to deal with my legal needs
I create my own land of milk and honey

For I have the connections between here
And Little Havana, and on to points beyond
To look at me, I'm just a Gringo, a sightseer
Yet, if special agents arrive, I'm prepped to abscond

It seems my export business ran afoul
Of some heroic Elliott Ness wannabe
He and his men are always on the prowl
But they are just monkeys dancing to my calliope