Beaconsfield Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Beaconsfield


At the end of my morning rituals
-everything…
-having shaved after teeth and brush…
-and before wearing shirt,
-no cologne
-look at me in mirror…
-see horror in terror…

On me hang lots of rags and threads
-I smile; feel Jewish…
-following the customs of Torah
-to pave road for going to heaven

My look is different from them…
-similar are covers on my waist and shoulders
-Young skin is long gone and muscles-
-are wrinkled, turned threads
-thanks to my Goddamn age!

I see the angry warning signs, reminders…
-stories come to mind…past dances into now,
-of Brit's old woman…
-she sold house and moved out…
-now is an ex-owner…
-left palace to locate in house-of-retired
-to grave a step closer…
-that is where I too will soon join her…
Deep beneath the surface I recite stories
-of many and myself
-from birth to our deaths
-and movements and changes…
-both in time and place…
-our ego and our needs…
-eagerness to exchange to our ends
-to give, take, buy and sell…

She lived in Beaconsfield, Montreal…Canada…
-therefore was a little different!

On the wings of the thoughts I fly
-to land in WWII and London
-bombardments…
-all the youths join fronts
-in a way
-sometimes hide true age, even forge
-to mature and legal…
-though below, at sixteen and under
-many killed and wounded
-brain-wise, body-wise
-both the male and female

War ends and Germans run by thousands
-had been killed and wounded, scattered
-they change name, live hidden, pretend
-as did the Jews, gypsies…before them…

Ceilings are now floors, and heaven is the hell
-for Germans and Europe, in Paris and London
-many look for somewhere safe to settle
-they escape in thousands
-bachelors and married

Long trips take Brits
-to land of Canada…
-they feel it to be theirs
- (in a way! ! !)

So Brits come and come in bunches
-they can land without a problem
-unlike the Indians in the ship
-Boycotted, finally rejected
-forcefully deported! ! !

I am guest of nephew and his wife
-they go out…
-am alone in a house they just bought
-from the British old lady; eighty to ninety five
-feel drowned in the thoughts…
-WWII is in mind…

See the wars brutal, bloodshed, genocide
-not just one, everyone, all the same
-time acts as a surgeon to repair
-stitches, many masks to cover

Approaches vary, are different
-by changing, forgetting…
-adding lies…
-lies…lies…lies…

I sit write, feel obliged:
-"Note this one, leave behind
-for others to read, judge,
-of how wars are fought and…
-people kill, many die,
-migrations to end in somewhere safe! "

See houses and the homes reduced, expanded
-backgrounds, known, unknown, seduced
-men, women converge and…
-make new families…
-I see time rushing as does the ghost…
-Mary Shelly's Frankenstein…

Finally find burden and the fun left to kids…
-this woman had husband…
-To her kids a father…?
-he died first…
-the woman, now loner…
-rich, wealthy with respect…
-found the house …
-this ex-built as heaven, become hell…
-hard it was to accept, "retire"…

Left the work of her life, the palace…
-went and joined the elders…
-in one of tiny rooms where they wait…
-for an end …
-closure of circle…

Thoughts fly as does hay on the waves
-I can see the grandchildren
-too busy with their games …
-they never, no never and never and never
-feel the pains that she felt!
-will never know of war as first hand…
-they may and possibly…
-read in books, history of dead-wars;
-memories forgotten…
-wounded dies, ends circle…

I hear my own voice shout in me:
-"Write…write…write…
-write Brits migrated…
-write of ways that have been different…
-some were shipped as orphans…
-some willed and rode the waves…
-write of wars after wars…
-and forceful new homes…
-and how harmed like the Jews…
-in Egypt, Babylon…
-who became murderers, brutal…
-were the same old woman, her husband…
-and Brits over all…
-they looted the lands of First Nations
-forcefully claimed that it is theirs…
-through the King's, Queen's; words-orders…
-so claim was simple…
-‘The Brits are righteous! '
-in that way they wrote and set the laws…
-imposed and shed blood…
-old owner was ‘Savage… Squaw'"! ! !

I hear the echo of my sound
-feel in cave, in kettle…
-see lava coming out…
-I am a volcano…
-Around me are fossils…time circles …
-as if life…birth to death!

Nephew is still out…
-screen of the thoughts in front…
-I see us all coming and going
-all the births, to our deaths…
-rich and poor…
-powerless…
-powerful…
-the injured…
-badly harmed…
-and the wild…
-brutal…brutal…brutal…