Catherine Hendry

(7.7.1969)

Best Friends... With Myself?


What is it?
How can I help?
I fight losing interest in caring,
I ask questions I already know the answer to …
How long do YOU think I should wait …?
For you to be honest … not with me,
more importantly, with yourself …
SEE,
I LOVE YOU …
Afraid I love YOU more than you do…
Your mouth asks advice,
Your heart craves love,
Your mind seeks stability,
but your actions show a lack of interest in ANY of the above …
YOU have to love YOU …
Before you can love or anyone else can love you …
On the regular you deny it all
The secrets … the reality … the twists and turns
The fact is YOU harbor this shame …
Dishonesty is its name …
But ONLY YOU have to deal with it
I love you and I’m always the same …
I’ve never left, anytime you’ve called, I ALWAYS came …
You push so hard, shoving me away …
It feels like you could care less if I stay …
You place blame upon me like 10,000 pounds
I’m tired and you don’t care or notice …
Accusing ME of being underhanded, us going rounds
I see your secrets …
I fight your lies …
I reach for you on a daily …
Yet sadly, you withdraw, hiding within a disguise …
Taking with you MY heart and love …
I just want my friend back …
But I feel like my knowledge of her is at best … slack …
In an attempt to “keep your cover”,
You say I love you less, with no respect
or, I love 1 more or better than the other …
You KNOW that isn’t true …
Is there a difference between another and you?
YES … as there should be!
Separate friends, different loves …
Though the other’s never lied to me …
So, your description is crooked, one sided at best …
SO … WHY AM I WRITING …
If YOU don’t give a damn about any of the rest?

(Do me a favor … close your eyes, take a deep breath … envision you and your best friend … ASK:
Has that friend ever left you out in the cold? Has that friend EVER let go?
I question, who has lied to whom and WHY? It wasn’t me …
Regardless, WHO’S always there when times are craziest, low or high?
… my point exactly …
So next time you call, don’t be shocked, if you don’t hear HI …
YES, I DO love you, and with everything in me …
You are my best friend …
But I can’t allow you to destroy yourself, our friendship AND me!

Submitted: Sunday, March 09, 2014
Edited: Monday, March 10, 2014

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

One of my best friends fights so many things, from drugs, dishonesty, depression, strength, parenthood... TOO MUCH! The saddest part, she brings about 90% upon herself and takes out 100% on ME! I love her to death! Our friendship spans many moons, ups, downs- highs and lows... sometimes you just have to turn away... It gets frustrating AND annoying... one can only take so much...

Comments about this poem (Best Friends... With Myself? by Catherine Hendry )

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  • Adeline Foster (5/21/2014 7:10:00 PM)

    Quite a poem, that. Yes, introspection can be painful. Read mine - Bloom Of Youth -
    Adeline (Report) Reply

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