When I was small
I wanted - a pet.
My mother didn't
- like pets.
'It followed me home! '
'Can I...keep it...can I...can..! '
didn't work
& I invariably had to
return the kidnapped cat
to the house I had
'borrowed' him from.
Between the space
where my mother wrung screaming wet clothesthrough the rollers
and out the other side to quite flatness
and the coal bunker
where a briquette wire spat at me
almost nearly blinding my left eye
I captured a Cabbage White
hiding amongst the coal.
Emptying the strawberry jam with the gollywog on
I gave her a world of glass
where she danced to the sunlight's mad music.
Neither she nor I
understanding the nature of glass
her dancing grew frantic
my love stiffling.
I not knowing
all things
must breathe
the dancing died to a sudden stop.
Being an impressionable child
and after only seeing a life safety film
I dived throught the panic
and swamn madly against the guilt
took her gently
into my trembling
fingers...her dusty colour
taking my fingerprints
I tried to give her
the kiss of life
choked with grief
and swallowed her
terror in my mind
butterfly in my tummy
and fear running
blind and crazy
that I could not
give her
her dancing
back again.
I said nothing
for years
(about the incident)
until I could explain
myself to myself
and my self
...understood.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Thinking that we show our love by the tighter hold...we destroy the very 'butterfly' we love...