Buffy The Vampire Slayer! Poem by Denis Martindale

At dead of night, out on patrol,
She went to cemeteries!
She hoped to meet no living soul,
Just vampires there to seize!
She took them on as if her fate,
In alley ways as well...
And while she thought karate's great,
She sent vampires to Hell!

Those bloody vampires think they're smart,
But she thought they were dumb!
The cross she wore upon her heart
Was prone to turn them numb!
With wooden crosses here and there,
Plus wooden stakes for luck,
She chased those lost boys everywhere
Until their hearts were struck!

Along the way, she fell in love
With Angel and with Spike,
But pretty soon, she'd had enough!
'Go on, get on yer bike! '
She kicked them both right to the curb,
She cried, 'Just go away! '
She couldn't let lost boys disturb
Her duty day-by-day!

At times, she fancied human boys...
She had a fling or two,
Or three or four, like they were toys,
Like some cheerleaders do!
She kicked her legs up like the rest,
Did cartwheels now and then,
But when night came, she tried her best,
Out on patrol again!

One time beneath that golden moon,
That glowed up in the sky,
She almost fainted with a swoon
That made her wonder why!
At home, her mirror view revealed,
Two tooth marks on her neck!
She screamed and screeched and loudly squealed,
Yelled words like, 'What the heck! ? '

The next few nights left her aghast!
Her dreams were up the creek!
Her night patrols now in the past,
Meant things were looking bleak...
She used to kick lost boys KERPOW,
While thinking she was cool!
She's just another lost girl now!
She shoulda stayed in School!