But I Want To Poem by Ashley Shea

You remember there was such a time,
When disobeying was such a crime.
And now I'm all grown up, just like you wanted
But there's that thing I do that leaves you in the night, taunted
I try to be good and fair and true
But my voice of reason is never there for you
That moment when I get angry, sad or scared
It leaves me breathless, weak, and teared
I look at my wrists, in envy of my past
How flippantly I cut,
Never knowing which would be my last

And then there's that thing
That makes my crazy side sing
The thing you do that pisses me off
Is not a lie, a joke or a scoff
It's the inconsistency that you do
Which drives me to hate, and hate you
It's the changing of your mind
That makes mine so resistantly kind