But My Heart Wishes Somehow Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

It does no good to write
It does less good to say
but my heart wishes somehow
it could fly away

It knows just to whom it would run
if it was said life is over
and you can only choose one
but a complex life can't easily undone

You're in always on my mind
a constant longing each day
I come here seeking your softness
but lately I feel you shy away

If I knew I was an intrusion
or a nuisiance
I would never stay
I can't explain, I'm just that way

I'd bear all the sadness
and let it eat me away
as I bowed my head once agian
I'd walk the other way

But you are someone I feel for so
I don't wish to push my way in
to let you know
I'd rather in time it did its own way show

I can't explain this feeling
that pulls my heart and sends it reeling
I think its something deep down inside
that you, in your quiet way, just laid open wide

Your words so soft and gentle
Your expressions so natural and sentimental
Leave me breathless and wishing for more
dreaming of joy and happiness I've dreamed for

But the truth is painful to swallow
my heart has really only felt hollow
broken, hurting and discarded too
except when my spirit feels you

Only then I feel a chance
a vision of love and romance
and so much I wish somehow it was true
that I might be taken in by you

Because no feeling like this have I ever known
since the day I left home
with heavy weight upon my shoulder
I somehow survived but now I'm older

Older but no so much wise
It just took hardship to realize
my heart has always been in the skies
so weary of the world's goodbyes

In you I feel a special one
a heart a soft as morning light
and as bright as noonday sun
I wish there was someway to be your hun

Each day I would take slow
In gentle ways I'd try to show
the love you make me feel inside
and which I want you too to know

I'm not free
though I wish I was
I'd run to you just because
even if you turned me away

Freedom is just an eventual fate
but to run to you my heart woudn't wait
It ran out the door and flew out the gate
and left me in this desperate longing state

With you my heart would somehow stay
because I'm tired of running
while my life is slipping away
I long for a home, and so I pray

My secret love
please understand
I wish for your love
and to feel the touch of your hand

But if I never feel its tender touch
or your soft embrace
or see a teardropp of joy roll down you face
or touch your smile or brush your hair in place

This feeling from me you could not erase
nobody has made me feel this way
and I'll likely love you in secret
until my dying day

But please don't leave
Don't go away
Because I could not bear the heartbreak
of ending that way

If only as a friend please let me stay
I'll love you as a friend that fate brought my way
and truth and kindness I'll send your way
so that you might love me back someday

Secret love
I have but one heart
and give everyone a piece
because I know not what else to do
but the largest part I send only to you

© James T. Adair