Choosing Your Spouse Poem by Randy McClave

When you get married these words are so true
Marry the person who is a lot like you,
One with the same habits and the same belief
That way it will cutback on your sadness and grief.
If they are the same way that you are,
You will never give or be given an unknown scar.

If you are political, marry a person political as well
Then you both as partners can incite others to argue and yell,
If you're a staunch republican or even a demanding democrat
Marry a person with the same political beliefs like that.
Then with each other you will never argue or fight,
Because, you both will know that your partner is right.

If you curse, marry a person who as well cusses
Those for you will be pluses,
You both will know the meaning of the same curse words
As many as there is as in the sky they are birds.
And neither one of you will ever be offended,
Doesn't that sound magical and just splendid.

If you drink alcohol marry a person who drinks as well
Whether it be whiskey, beer, scotch or ale,
Then you both can always sit and get drunk together
And then as one you can go drinking forever.
And then when you both are together stinking drunk,
You won't care which one of you stunk.

If you enjoy to smoke and also to take drugs
Marry the person who buys from the very same thugs,
Whether it's smoking a cigarette or a joint or a sniff or a shot
You'll be with your partner in the hospital or in jail when caught.
And then if you give up on smoking or drugs before the slab,
You both can then go to the same rehab.

If you are a liar or a cheater find someone who lies or cheats
That way you can share the very same stories and sheets,
Whether you are cheating or even lying
Find that someone who is good at ignoring and denying.
So, to be happy and content find a cheater and a liar,
That way as a couple you will both end up in hells fire.

When you get married find your true soul twin
Then you will unconditionally win,
You will never argue about each others habits or beliefs at all
And never with each other will you brawl.
Even if you both are bigots and racists
You'll become each other's soul, only with different faces.

Randy L. McClave