Christmas Medley Poem by Kai Ford

Laying alone in a dark room with the sound of joyous Christmas music playing softly
But I dont feel the holiday joy.
Bing Crosby croons about dreaming of a White Christmas
When I just want to dream of a you w/out the lying &cheating
I shut my eyes tight trying to envision you the way I used to see you
But that man is gone by his own choosing

Nat King Cole sings of tiny tots finding it hard to sleep tonight
And I wonder if he's speaking about me
Did he know I'd be awake in the middle of the night, on Christmas eve,
writing a poem about a hurt that has kept me from resting tonight?

I so badly want to Give Love like the Jackson 5 this holiday
But the reality of this mountain I'm facing prohibits me from doing so
My heart desires to be carefree&loving like it usually is during the holiday
Yet, I am still searching for the bright time&right time Bobby Helms is referring to in Jingle Bell Rock.

But like Mariah, all I wanted for Christmas was YOU
but you wanted something different
so here I am
without you...
asking God to help me get thru the next few days
somehow, some way!

12/24/10 2: 28am