Cold Chill Poem by CHARMAINE SIMPSON

I feel the cold chill in every word you speak-
I am unable to see your face as the impersonal line
of conversation spoken into a phone is what has come
between us and the reality of visual communication.

Each tear that falls from my eyes only seems to drown you,
deeper and deeper in frustration, as I hear your patience grow
thin, now with little or no tolerance to listen any longer starts
threats of ending our emotion filled, destructive conversation.

In an instant fear surges through my entire body creating panic.
You choose to now cut me short of being able to express to you
how much I need you right next to me holding me in your arms,
holding onto me so close that I am able to feel your heartbeat.

I scream in absolute uncontrollable fear as I lose control completely.
I am falling with no support - your advice so distant - cold and
with what felt so clearly like you were pushing me even further from you.-
"You need to do this on your own" -your words sounded so clinical
"This is what you need to do for you" I am told with your determined will.

I seemed to only create difficulty and frustration within what was
your personal struggle, and a time for you to battle your own demons.
The following words that u spoke to me were 'At the moment we are
not good for each other, so just give me some space, and allow time
to pass.'

Each choice was yours, to be made with no consideration of my heart,
so when you decide you can be in my company without it having a
negative impact upon you - your emotions - and your personal space.
I will be just waiting right here like a needy desperate fool because
This is what love does - sadly it turns you into a pathetic doormat.


April 29th 2007