Jeffrey Stultz

Rookie (April 11,1961 / Tempe, Arizona)

Come Out Mathilda

You might have seen me come
in a dragon prowed ship,
armed to the teeth,
and pitching a fit,
you know, being a berserker
just ain't too hip,
but the killing is so much fun,
wanna make all the Celts die young.


Come out Matilda,
don't make me wait,
you British women
are so full of hate,
what’s a horny Viking
got to do for a date?
I swear I won't do no harm,
if not I'll just torch this barn.

If your father was alive
I know he’d think I was a nice guy
he’d really care for me
He might even kill a bear for me.

Me and my buddies
sail up and down the coast,
looking for a few good
towns to roast;
We like to pillage, we like to boast
It could've been less less fun,
you might have been overrun by Huns.

Repeat Chorus

If your mother was alive
I know she’d think I was a great guy
she'd raise a glass of ale to me
he'd even say wassail to me.

I know we seem an
insensitive bunch,
we killed all your cattle,
and ate them for lunch,
you seem a little hostile,
its just a hunch,
I know I just killed your dog,
but hey, this is just my job!

Tune: Only the Good Die Young

March 1996

Submitted: Wednesday, December 30, 2009

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