Jeffrey Stultz

Rookie (April 11,1961 / Tempe, Arizona)

Come Out Mathilda Poem by Jeffrey Stultz


You might have seen me come
in a dragon prowed ship,
armed to the teeth,
and pitching a fit,
you know, being a berserker
just ain't too hip,
but the killing is so much fun,
wanna make all the Celts die young.

Chorus:

Come out Matilda,
don't make me wait,
you British women
are so full of hate,
what’s a horny Viking
got to do for a date?
I swear I won't do no harm,
if not I'll just torch this barn.

If your father was alive
I know he’d think I was a nice guy
he’d really care for me
He might even kill a bear for me.


Me and my buddies
sail up and down the coast,
looking for a few good
towns to roast;
We like to pillage, we like to boast
It could've been less less fun,
you might have been overrun by Huns.

Repeat Chorus


If your mother was alive
I know she’d think I was a great guy
she'd raise a glass of ale to me
he'd even say wassail to me.

I know we seem an
insensitive bunch,
we killed all your cattle,
and ate them for lunch,
you seem a little hostile,
its just a hunch,
I know I just killed your dog,
but hey, this is just my job!

Tune: Only the Good Die Young

March 1996

Submitted: Wednesday, December 30, 2009

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