Coming Home Poem by Marion Souma

I've fallen into an existence,
Days and months, now nothing makes sense...
Confusion, wondering where I've disappeared to,
When I left and how there seem to be no trace of my soul, I've searched it through
It seems I've lost the very essence of my existence,
The light inside - I used to be alive.
Is there even a grain of who I used to be?
Before the crowds, the so called friends, the sacrifices - killing me.
I don't know this heart, nor have I met this soul,
Reality seems distant, an empty bowl.
I've changed, I've moulded, I've transformed,
I've pushed myself and each of them smiles in pride, as I'm perfectly formed.
I can't remember when last I felt alive, sense of wonder -
I look back so far, each day a blur, a gap, darkness as I feel the last bit of strength seep from my veins, why won't anyone help me as I go under?
All the smiles, the promises, a Judas kiss on each cheek of mine,
You knew, all of you knew all the time.
Now I finally feel a reality, the one you all created for me...
A sense of numbness...
A loss of feeling within,
A great empty carcass -
Vultures when will you feast! ! !
My God, my creator - are any of these cries in even heard,
Have I forsaken, am I lost - addicted to the beast,
The beast of human nature, the need to be popular and free - it's the least!
Desire for fame, longing in envy for fortune.
Who is this person, where am I, is there any part of the original me?
I feel my heart, my heart beating - yet I see afar my inner true me, the me You intended me to be - she fleeting!
My God, my Father - my heart cries
Out, yearning something more,
Have I not been heard YELLING out to you from my very core?
I need to feel life, alive, I need saving from the madness,
I didn't see a dark cloud consume me; inside I'm held by excruciating sadness!
These people, these wolfs I'm surrounded with, parading - shape shifting, under the spell I see them all-sheep...
I need to wake up from this dream I'm in, as doom lurks around a corner, forever they want me to be asleep! !
NO MORE! NO MORE! PLEASE, the torture I need no more!
Breathing, moving, talking, thinking - being alive,
Yet I lack a feeling of warmth, of love, of passion - ITS life I see myself strive!
I am Your child, by name I was called,
I'm cornered, in a cage like a helpless animal under a daze-strong hold.
Please give me the gift of feeling true, of a soul not to numb to move.
Send me Your spirit, and shake me, unshackle these chains and please give me eyes of truth.
Send a small little blow of strength my way,
Help me to shelter, under You're wings of glory I need to stay
Lost no longer, for any further I fear I'll be lost forever!
Find me Father, find me in this darkness I'm wandering,
Count these tears within, and show a ray of mercy on me,
Keep a spot for me Daddy, right there next to your throne,
This lost child, humbled, broken, bruised and dying - IS COMING HOME! ! !