Custody Not Care Survival Poem by Bev Hemopo

Locked in these four walls
Totally shocked by it all
God hear my call
Give me spiritual strength to stand tall

I'm a Musician
Bassing Four Bands
Polytech and working
I needed a hand

I can't win
Spreading myself thin
Intervention God! send me to the sin-bin
Can't eat can't sleep
Lost weight like in a heart-beat
I don't look the same
I can't go home
I feel such shame

My mind begging for a rest
I smoked dope in excess
Can my brain survive the ultimate test
Hypo! North South East and West
Red for stop Green for go
Amber I'm so confused! I don't know

Artificial recreation
Mindboggling stimulation
Interrupted circulation
I've lost my co-ordination

So overtired I saw a Dr
Sleep and rest at his request
I agreed Voluntary as a Guest

The Psychiatric Nurse
Thinking of his purse committed me
Made things worse! what a Curse!

My Mum, Dr Nurses in a room
For My Assessment doom and gloom
Asian Dr told Mum If I lost the plot it would show
Ten minutes! they would know

Your Son passed two hour Interrogation
Bitter sweet Celebration
No way should he be committed to this place
So sorry! what a slap in the face!

What's going on
Taken into Custody Not Care
I feel like I'm in a Lion's li'are
Mum I can't breathe
Take me out-side for fresh-air please!

My Mum told she had to leave
Gave me a long hug
That brought me to my knees
Mum please don't go! I'll have no show
Don't leave me in this place with unsavoury people! I don't know

Her eyes filled with tears and sorrow
Mum said, ''I love you I'll see you tomorrow''
As God is My Witness My Son
With Grangrad in Spirit We will come
I promise! I won't go home without you Son
By God I won't leave you until the deed is done!
I'll be here everyday and free you in some way
No-one! not Drs Nurses or Beauraucracy
Will stand in my way
One-day their gonna pay!
For committing you in such a very dishonest way!

A nurse plonked my meal on the table
Like it was the last supper
Not even the offer of a cuppa
I felt the unfriendly vibe
God help me! I had no-where too hide
My minds rushing in and out like the tide

Three white coats came in
Their body language spelt confrontation
I got scared felt their intimidation
Forced back out of fear
I moved back to the wall in my chair
How can this be hospital care

Foreign hands held me down
Kneed my body into the ground
Pulled out my ear-ring
I felt the sting
Ordered me up! yelled! get into those pyjamas
No way! was this gonna be a trip to the Bahamas

White-coats want me to rise
After that inhumane so-called caring compromise
So rough they knocked the socks off my feet
That's it! ...I'm just so weak I can't get up I'm beat!

Lord I feel so alone
I just want Mum to take me home
They took the wind out of my Sails
I'm the one that's not well but whose gone off the rails
Committ the white-coats and throw them in jail
God! first chance I get! I'm ready to bail!

I'm not agro! can't they see
Are they blind? why terrorise me
I've got mana and much pride
I feel weak and so over-tired

Why did'nt they just ask me
Why heavy-handed that's so unkind
I'm a patient
Is this punishment for a mixed up mind
Whose got a problem You or I?
Stand over tactics
I wander why

I believed the Doctor
Come in for care
He did'nt warn me to! Beware

Burnt out! no eating no sleeping
No mental-illness! Dr found!
Sadly I had a Break-down!
Just needed to sleep! pace myself
Get my feet back on the ground

Drug Induced! Diagnosis
My Mind and Body suffering Ketosis
Thank God! My Brain's still in tact
Got an Elephant's Memory and that's a fact!

I've been shoved in the pound
Their treatment! I'll never forget! so profound!
White-coats uncaring! throwing their weight around
Can you believe! their acting like wolves!
Why don't they follow the God given Rules?

So unnecessary! what's next my Obituary!

Safer to be the house-hold pet
They must know I'm no threat!
The written rule! white-coats forget!
Treat All Patients! with ''Dignity and Respect''!

Are these White-coats! done? or God help Me!
Has my worst nightmare! just begun? ?
Please hurry Mum!
I'll never rest until you come!

Lord now it's just you and me
I need to see My Grangrad! ..please! ..
I know he's watching over me
I'm praying on my knees! begging you please!
Take me out of this terrible place and set me free

I'm your child your creation
For now I need Your Spiritual Visitation!
Bless You Lord! Here's My Hand...
Take me to Your Beautiful Wonderland...