Darnkness, Flame, Secrets Poem by Mac Diez

Everyday I've faced the world alone, my iron will has shone,
But never has it been recognized, so I still live insanity endlessly.
I don't know how I never snapped before, never sought to even the score,
So now I alone bear the burden of holding my flame,
I alone am losing it now.

Completely ignored before, accepted now, not sure of any of it.
Not sure of the way to go from here, not certain of any of it.
I know they could never bear the flame living inside of me,
For if they tried they would burn immediately.

I always avoided the gaze of others, always guarded around them,
Trying to avoid undesired attention, possessing no real pretension.

A terrible reality, and a strange mentality
Forged in HELL! It seems I'll never be able to tell
How to move it forward, this insanity and abnormality.
Though I left, it feels like I took a piece with me, a piece of HELL.

The single piece of Hell lives through me as hate and rage.
Fighting to suppress this wrath, struggling to keep it in its cage.
Even now as my friends help me cope, I see little but growing hope.
I think I'm finding solace, no that I see how loyalty feels.

But even now I feel so alone, much colder than a stone.
Hollow as a pipe, but bearing the weight of nerve-wracking life.

Now as I wonder how this ends, will they be there when I need them most?
They can never bear the burden of healing me, that much isn't hard to see.
But I will bear the weight alone, and bear any flame that ignites in them,
Because when I was alone, they welcomed me with arms wide open.

But they could never understand the mental and social effect
Of a heart forged from iron and snow,
Lungs forged from steel and ice,
And a mind, forged from hardships, blood, death and revival, and BLOOD!
A mentality forged by metal and blunt force trauma.

Yet they accept me and are getting to understand me more and more by the day.
How I will move this problem forward, I can't really say.
Though I wanna let them in, the fact of the matter is
Some secrets are better not divulged, so I remain lonesome
Even though I have more friends than ever.


Now that I have seen what true friends are, there may be no secrets to divulge any more soon.
If there is a shot of truly being alive, now the time is right.
But scarred from the molten metal that burns through me,
The burn of isolation, the scars of rejection,

It seems that the sky will be black for at least a several months more
But maybe by then I will have evened the score.

The nights are still long and lonesome, but it's also a time of comfort,
When I show what my flame feels like by shredding on the guitar.
I let the song screech in place of my heart
Laying to rest, waiting for the moment of truth.