Dear Nthabeleng Poem by William Ndoyisile Somenze

I've lived to see the impacts that family politics had on you, how it robbed you off your childhood memories, your smile and most importantly the meaning to your name.
Yeah, I know it's never been easy to live without a mother, but I hope your aunt has mothered you well to not feel the pinch of your mother's death. I am saying this because she single handedly made me who I am and still is. She is the grove of my life after God, I hope she's yours too. She'll always be there for you, she'll teach you about strength, and being a woman that she is today, she'll teach you things that I wouldn't be able to teach you even if I was given a chance.
I love you little sis, I know my words do not correlate my actions, I know you wish I'd show it more, but big brother has flaws and no that's no excuse, I would show it much more than I say it if I did not spend much more time away from you. The distance at which I am also shouldn't be an excuse, I guess this me saying to you NEVER PUT YOUR HAPPINESS IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HANDS.
Sometimes, on my attenuate visits at home, I'd see you as a portrait of pain standing before me, lowered shoulders, sad face and a bowed head. That alone sets a destruction company within me, it wrecks me to ever have peace whilst your peace you've never known. I'd wanna take that away from you cause none of this family curse deserves to be taking its tall on you. As tall as you are, I'd wish you could use a little bit of that height to stand out and tall against all that makes life a process of being unable to jump hurdles for you.
Baby, I wish I could have it in me to make you surface from the depth of this family feud that has obliterated your age. I'd sink in the hole of your hurts just so I could see you float smoothly, and see you smile from ear to ear.
I've heard you haven't been doing well at school. I wish I could, with my deft and nimble fingers, sift you off the whole situation that constantly cuts off your wings every time you try to flap them and fly but fail.
Lil sis I am sorry that I am not there to tell you that you are greater than the problems you've grown up to meet. I am sorry that a beautiful, bright, smart, twelve year old girl like you fails to glistens cause she is all covered up in dirt.
But you are seed, covered in dirt, I hope you grow with every tear drop.
Sometimes I dream of a day that I'd call you and hear you say;
'Big brother I am happy of how far I've got in life despite your absence in mine, cause I know you love me better and before any woman in your life. And I know you'll always come back to and for me. I know that the day I silently made a sacrifice that you go out off my way to build a staircase of your career so I could have all the things you never had, I know its the day I'd never look back to in regrets...' My ears itches for these words...
Little sis, I feel your sadness just by thoughts, but only Lord knows when I'd catch the sunlight for you so to make you an incandescent lil girl that He knows you are. Things will be better for me, you and everybody else. God is faithful.