I’ve given it my best.
The years frown back
from the mirror
to show me just how long,
until at last
I have to concede finality.
It’s over,
and I was the last
to know.
In spite of the realization,
it still hurts.
I’m told feelings are
hardest to let go of,
I suppose because
we’ve worn them
for so long.
Yet everyone knows
nothing is all bad.
The good was good,
but when the bad stretches
arrive more often,
stay longer
and hurt twice as much,
I finally see
the only time I’m happy
is when I’m alone.
The bad overshadows
anything good
and I see things
for what they really are.
Today, I stood in the yard
with my arms outstretched.
I had to see if he began
where my fingers ended,
- the way he used to,
but there was nothing there,
only air.
Then I checked my arms.
There must be needle tracks …
hell, he was like
an addiction,
but there were none.
When did the wrongs become
a way of life?
Apologies can no longer reboot trust
and there’s no going back.
In sad resignation
I’ve discovered I’m out of
last chances to give.
Feelings truly are
the hardest to let go of
and it really is
because we have a past,
and I ache knowing
there can be no future.
Nonetheless, I hate losing.
I loathe having failed at something
I’ve poured so much of me into
for so long …
but you just know,
and there in the
midst of the knowing
lies the death of a marriage.
A real 'HIT' of a poem. Wonderfully expressed and a superb read. So aptly explained, no one could have done better. Excellent write. Excellent poet. Love and hugs Ernestine XXX
Even in sorrow your talent and wisdom shines. Some excellent phrases here CJ that I have been accustomed to reading in your poetry Loveya poeticlady Rusty
An excellent channeling of difficult feelings without censorship or excuse, just acceptance. you make the name Poet one we can all be proud of.
Great poem; keeps one reading to the end. I like the way you write statements not rages. Read mine – When Love Dies - Adeline
Apologies can no longer reboot trust the only time I’m happy is when I’m alone. loved reading twice
The realization of your true feelings left me feeling I was reading an honest poet. Wonderful piece of work.10/10 Ian
Agree with the previous commentors. Murmurs softly and painfully true to anyone who has gone through such a thing. But believe in reincarnation, for the soul will live again and love again, too. -chuck
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
A ten for the poem, a ten for the honesty, a ten for the truth, a ten for knowing what the heck you are talking about, a ten for being able to see that it wasn't always all bad, a ten for knowhing that it is finally over (read my poem on the very same words! !) , a ten for seeing, at the very end, that is was a death, just the same as if our physical bodies had gone...Thank you, Dear C. J., for one of the best things, the most brutally and honestly written, that I have read lately. To my favorite list, a thousand tens, and copies to keep....and to share with others who have suffered the same. Thank you...Linda