Disappointed Regret Poem by Living Experience

Can you tell me dad what I did to make you hate me so?
Can you tell me what I said to make you give up and go?
Was it because I wasn’t good enough and evil is all you see?
Was it too much guilt for you when you left me sitting in the tree?

I remember all the little things as child that made me sad,
I remember all the love I had for this man I called my dad.
I remember all the drugs, parties, women and fights,
I remember all the bedtime stories when you tucked me in at night.

I remember all the hardships and all the good times too,
I remember looking up to you and talking about everything you do,
I remember how excited I'd get when you’d walk in the door,
You’d sweep me up in your arms, I felt so loved and so adored.

Then the CAS were called and we were torn apart,
I remember what you said to me as you pointed to your heart,
As a little girl I carried those words with me every day,
As the days turned into years family memories slipped away.

Then we were reunited and I was a disappointment to you,
I was an addict that didn’t share your religious views.
Things became so turbulent that again you walked away,
Did you ever ask yourself or care why I turned out that way?

Years passed and finally the lost daughter came home,
I had enough of the cruel world that I often roamed.
I tried to be the good girl the one you use to love,
I tried to believe in Jesus and the Father up above.

It didn’t matter how often I tried to shine and glow,
I couldn’t believe in God because no mercy did he show.
Then tragedy hit, causing mass devastation to the family ring,
Raw emotions left exploding; again you washed your hands clean.

I tried to say I was sorry for all the things that I had done,
Even though you weren’t my real dad you were still my # 1.
My whole life I'd been lied to and ultimately betrayed,
All I ever wanted was my dad’s love and a family that would stay.