Disarray Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

Monday morning brings tears
They came out of nowhere
The realization of fears
Mixed with heartache
and hardship, some past
though more nears
and betrayal of trust
A tiny lie that broke through somehow
through my protective crust
Let it go, I must
but it hurts anyway
hurt from someone I needed to trust
It all hit me hard today
As sunrise is on it's way
I push people away
Not showing the hurt inside
or the truth, that I thought I found a place to stay
I can't take silence or lies anyway
So I push it away
As if it never mattered
But I feel it so hard today
I'm falling apart
Because I have a heart
but it's so broken
I couldn't contain it
or wait on it to mend
I spilled some of it out
Prone to hurt, not set to defend
Now I feel frozen in time
stuck on her line
That I was the only one she was chatting with online
Though I saw her messages flashing
several at a time
Like painful stabs to the heart
I felt the lies in her line
felt honesty itself dying on the vine
as trust did untwine
though the birds are chirping
somewhere outside, somewhere near
And the cars pass, I can hear..
I wish for something impossible
A hug and comfort of someone dear
Someone who understands
But all I have is to pick myself up now
No dream in my heart today
I have to fix this broken life
or throw it away
but this morning feels
so empty and sad
As foolish dreams
Even the simple ones
are now in disarray