'' Don'T Eat More Eat Less '' Poem by Bri Mar

I weigh myself every day,
But it's all to no avail,
Despite countless diets I can say,
I was always doomed to fail.

Each day I only eat three meals,
Breakfast a sandwich then dinner,
If you only knew just how that feels,
You wouldn't class me as a sinner.

Yes I have the occasional snack,
But it's not a meal as such,
A chocolate biscuit gets me flak,
But to me it's not that much.

I take some sweets to calm me down,
The odd one I'm allowed,
Packets that is but don't you frown,
With will power I am endowed.

I really love my crisps and juice,
Jelly babies I can't resist,
I totally adore my chocolate mousse,
My desserts I've never missed.

Alcohol I'm told is perfectly fine,
If it's taken in moderation,
So I drink a daily bottle of wine,
It keeps me in total sedation.

I endeavour to exercise every day,
But it really is a crime,
All that sumptuous food leads me astray,
For activity I can't make the time.

When I jumped on to my weight machine,
All I could hear were haunting wails,
Was it from some ghostly Queen,
No it was coming from my scales.

It's the weight of all those clothes I wear,
It has nothing to do with me,
They make me look the shape of a pear,
That's just fallen from a tree.

One day I'll reach my perfect size,
I'll not predict where or when,
But when I do you'll hear my cries,
I've reached a perfect ten.

Diets have cost me thousands of pounds,
But I should have smelled a rat,
For the thing to me that most confounds,
It's in money not in fat.

Every one tells you the same,
It's the basis of every diet,
It's a con by any other name,
Boil your food don't fry it.

It doesn't matter whether you boil or fry,
Or the type of food you eat,
These special diets are all a lie,
They're all guilty of deceit.

Here's the greatest diet of them all,
It's been around for thousands of years,
The simplicity of it will enthrall,
It won't leave your pockets in tears.

The answer's there it's in your face,
Truth is it's beyond belief,
It's one which we can all embrace,
without giving out cash relief.

What is the answer I hear you ask,
You must relieve us from our stress,
The solution to our thankless task,

'' Don't Eat More Eat Less ''