Edinburgh Buses Poem by GORDON SAUNDERS

They're always there causing a fuss
You all know who i mean the neds on the bus
smoking cheap soapbar and shouting so loud
i really bet their parents are o so proud
with their shan trackie bottoms and cheap matching shoes
they never seem to be without a bottle of booze
'got any skins pal'? said the leader of their crew
'ive got some here mate, i'll gie ye them the noo'
shouting and screaming i wish they'd get off
down sat a gentleman, a bit of a toff
i could see him twitching and getting rather cross
but the scheemies kept shouting, they did'nt give a toss
' give it a rest lads ive had a hard day
theres no need to shout, its very uncooth'
'shut yer face you'll get a punch in the mooth'
said the one with the cap and the missing tooth
but the toff sat up and stood his ground
just as the bus turned intae the mound
the poor guy didnae stand a chance
the neds got excited and started tae dance
down rained the punches the kicks and the pain
i felt for the guy what a bloody shame
the back doors opened and off they ran
the bus then got pelted with an empty can
here comes the polis, as usual too late
'did you see anything'
'nah no me mate'
'i need tae get going, im gonna be late'
so the next time this happens on a bus near you
just look out the window and look at the view