Flicker Woodpecker Poem by Spock the Vegan

The flicker is a noisy bird
The noisiest I ever heard
He is quite a pretty fellow
With wings and tail of red and yellow
But do I like him, don't be absurd

When he stops upon the telephone pole
On my nerves he takes a toll
I hear a rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat
And then I want to get a bat
And beat him ‘till he isn't whole

On the ground he's a pretty sight
And eating worms is alright
But when he makes that dreadful sound
I don't want him to be around
I'd rather he would take up flight

When he lands on my TV antenna
I wish that he would fly to Vienna
For he taps his bill and makes a clang
And in my mind it is a pang
And I want his color to be burnt sienna

He's only trying to attract a mate
With a female woodpecker and procreate
But I wish that he would dull his bill
While pecking on my barbeque grill
Or at least consider a change of state