For My Son Poem by Katinka Havermans

I almost start to cry
When I see tears well up in your eye
The anger in your face
Is an anger I haven't seen in days
It's useless to fight it
And when I go to you and sit
I reach out my hand to touch you
Like any other person would do
But I don't and feel helpless
Defeated almost and my thoughts are a mess
Why is it so hard to accept it sometimes that you
Don't always react like 'normal' kids do
There are days when everything is as it should be
When you are happy, laughing, even hugging me
It is hard to let you go, to not hold on so tight
But now you are older you are fighting with all your might
I love you with all my heart
But being a mum of an autistic child is sometimes so very hard

© KH