Freedoom Poem by carlos caceres

Children would play in the street,
Kicking a ball, tossing a coin, pilling up empty cans of milk,
Sweat oozing down his faces…
And I used to stand behind curtains of solitude,
Staring at them playing and sharing secrets,
Exchanging smiles hanging from their lips,
With that innocence I was unable to keep,
Faces so full of joy and humanity,
So different from the shady look on mine,
I used to look at them with discretion,
Feeling jealous and a bit angry, aged ten…
Choking back a scream for help,
Swallowing my own guilt alongside with his saliva,
Dreaming of being one of the boys,
Hoping to stop being touched,
Little did I know that I had been cursed, aged nine,
Little did I know…
That he would follow me like my own shadow,
That he would feed on my innocent legs,
That he would prey on my mind ever since,
Feeling I brought that pain to my own life,
Feeling so worthless, so useless…so me,
I used to look at the boys playing in the street,
Dying to be one of them,
Daydreaming of being rescued,
But nobody heard my silent beg,
Nobody seemed to discover the abuse…
I used to be shy and an easy target,
Now, am strong, I guess o I want to believe so,
He won't ever hurt me again,
He won't be able to hurt others again,
Aged 17, I spoke, I yelled, I punched, I kicked,
I hurt him so bad…
Feeling I did myself justice,
Bleeding knuckles with a sadistic grin on my lips,
He won't be able to rip another boy's soul,
He won't be able to haunt me,
Am torn, twisted, wicked but free…
Yeah am free…am finally free.