David DeSantis

Rookie (01/29/85 / Utica, NY)

**Ghost Tracks


I'm sliding off the rail
from which a mind
used to hang,
dripped in perspiration
lost in malaise.

She once believed in me
as they believe in you,
and I can't shake the strain
of a neck in a noose.

Swinging back and forth
its not a way to live,
cookie cutter dreams
and strainers that won't give.

While somewhere along the line
we all cross a bend,
leading off the tracks
to ghouls and ghost men.

But I can't seem to care
enough to stop the pain
forming friends over family
and fire over rain.

A levy in which i find
no good way to mend,
ties that are broken
while streams rise again

pain is as deep
as deep as is pain
round and round we go

auto-
matans
on a train.



Copyright (c) David DeSantis

Submitted: Monday, July 07, 2008
Edited: Monday, December 15, 2008

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Comments about this poem (**Ghost Tracks by David DeSantis )

  • Rookie Chitra - (12/15/2008 9:57:00 AM)

    very original and superb in style, bringing out both the shades of life... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Original Unknown Girl (11/10/2008 3:33:00 AM)

    Oh this is sublime. Should I say that? the penultimate stanza is especially fine. HG: -) xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Reshma Ramesh (10/10/2008 1:40:00 AM)

    hmmmmmmm ver sad.......hey hugs to cheer u up...well penned (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Cherish Anderson (9/9/2008 2:46:00 PM)

    O MUH GOSH DAT IS GOOD! ! ! VERY INTENSE LIKE I CAN FEEL WAT UR GOIN THRU (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Cherish Anderson (9/9/2008 2:46:00 PM)

    O MUH GOSH DAT IS GOOD! ! ! VERY INTENSE LIKE I CAN FEEL WAT UR GOIN THRU (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Nik Morgan (7/20/2008 7:17:00 PM)

    A stunning poem sad and intense with a great deepth Thanks Ivor (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 62 Points Kesav Easwaran (7/20/2008 11:52:00 AM)

    the last stanza lines are exceptionally good...round and round in the ghost tracks...well, here i see a different writer in you...a difference for good 10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (7/16/2008 5:24:00 AM)

    We need to be awake, alert, to know what is happening to us and feel it to the fullest; to know what is we are seeing.
    pain is as deep
    as deep as is pain
    round and round we go

    and we know that - that counts for a lot. Deep, Thoughtful, Moving. We breathe in and we breathe out and breathe in again. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 57 Points Yuri Duraan (7/15/2008 4:03:00 PM)

    I love the rhyme in this one... its easy on the senses (I don't usually like rhyme... i know) did you write this in your proverbial 'blue period? :) incredible poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Anita Atina (7/15/2008 1:11:00 PM)

    Deeply felt poem David. Conveys desperateness and yet an engaging awareness that we need to break free. Cheers to that! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Rebel Heart (7/13/2008 4:43:00 PM)

    An incredibly powerful poem with lines that linger long after the reader has left the page. Haunting, heart wrenching and full of original phrasing bound together with an effortless flow and a reounding last line. Superb... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Raynette Eitel (7/10/2008 8:54:00 PM)

    I like this one, David...the pain is palpable...the ghosts real...and your lament is true, I think.

    Raynette (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Duncan Wyllie (7/10/2008 12:43:00 PM)

    There are so many shades to us David, thankyou for sharing your feelings

    Take care

    Love duncan X (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Original Unknown Girl (7/10/2008 9:31:00 AM)

    Hey David, this is good, very soul-searching. Agree with Onelia, my fav lines are definitely 'friends over family, fire over rain'. They say we can't pick our family but we can our friends. S1 makes for tense reading. A hard hitting poem. Enjoyed (if that makes sense?) HG; -) xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tara very irritated with PH injustice (7/9/2008 6:47:00 AM)

    This is well-penned, heart-wrenching, provoking and engaging in equal measures. t x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Nik Morgan (7/7/2008 8:42:00 AM)

    Very nice work deep and thoughtful thanks Ivor (Report) Reply

Read all 16 comments »

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