David DeSantis

Rookie (01/29/85 / Utica, NY)

***Ex- Girlfriends

Uncertain drops
Of anguish
Filter through the night
While waste water
Remove any light
As California raisins
Dance to the sight
Of mixed
Metamorphic kites.

Every little symptom
Begins with your bite
While every diagnosis
Is a problematic height
And every trapped memory
Is another kind of blight,
Alleviated neurons
And sycophantic rites.

I’m caught up in a struggle
Of allegoric might
Stuck between an angle
A catatonic plight
A half finished puzzle
To share for your delight
In certainty only
Can wrong
make it right.

Copyright (c) David DeSantis

Submitted: Monday, May 05, 2008
Edited: Tuesday, January 06, 2009

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Comments about this poem (***Ex- Girlfriends by David DeSantis )

  • Rookie Liz Thaugally (9/6/2009 3:58:00 AM)

    Hi David, dropped by and re-read some of my favourite poems on here including this one.10/10. Although I belive we could also relate this to ex-boyfriends too! new poems on my own website, please do have a look when you have time!

    www.lizelah.co.uk (Report) Reply

  • Rookie R H (5/17/2008 11:19:00 AM)

    From the 'uncertain drops of anguish', the words in this poem don't just flow, they cascade to expose a surge of thoughts and images that ultimately beguile. The blending of shapes, colours and confusion give this poem an abstract quality that is both vbrant and lasting. justine. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Greenwolfe 1962 (5/13/2008 7:45:00 PM)

    This is a very fine poem and its worthy
    of the writer.

    GW62 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie LOVEFOOL Aka (5/9/2008 5:49:00 PM)

    A really good intense read beautifully written as allways Thanks Nik (Report) Reply

  • Rookie ~ Jon London ~ (5/6/2008 6:05:00 PM)

    Ahh, bro...the very creatures that can make or break a man, I'm really not the one that can comment to be honest..as I'm still lost in this world waiting to be saved..but I love your magical way with expression...genius mate..

    Stay strong
    Jon (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tara very irritated with PH injustice (5/6/2008 4:08:00 PM)

    That is actually a seriously clever piece. (Try having ex boyfriends though and then think yourself lucky. :)) t x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 96 Points Rani Turton (5/6/2008 12:01:00 PM)

    My kind of poem! I enjoyed it immensely. Thanks David. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 12 Points Onelia Avelar (5/6/2008 7:16:00 AM)

    Yeay! This is the new poem? I like it very much: Uncertain drops / Of anguish /
    Filter through the night / While waste water / Droplets / Remove any light... Every new poem is better and better. I like the lightness of the metre and of the style of this one. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Original Unknown Girl (5/6/2008 6:59:00 AM)

    This is superb! Brilliant cadence to it. HG: -) xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ivor Hogg (5/5/2008 4:20:00 PM)

    confusion reigns supreme in the wee small hours looking back over what could have been but is not (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Emancipation Planz (5/5/2008 1:57:00 PM)

    the proof... you are not getting anywhere near my.......
    (like what you do with water though!) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Michael Campbell (5/5/2008 10:41:00 AM)

    great poem. lots of confusion running rampant in the back of the mind. i really enjoyed this one. lately you've been hitting my target well enough. thanks chief smoke. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kaela F. (5/5/2008 9:28:00 AM)

    How accurately does this describe the confusion of emotions running through one's head during a breakup...Very wonderful writing. I enjoyed reading this very much...it captured the feelings to the 't' of how a breakup is. (Report) Reply

Read all 13 comments »

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