Treasure Island

David DeSantis

(01/29/85 / Utica, NY)

***Ex- Girlfriends


Uncertain drops
Of anguish
Filter through the night
While waste water
Droplets
Remove any light
As California raisins
Dance to the sight
Of mixed
imagination
Metamorphic kites.

Every little symptom
Begins with your bite
While every diagnosis
Is a problematic height
And every trapped memory
Is another kind of blight,
Alleviated neurons
And sycophantic rites.

I’m caught up in a struggle
Of allegoric might
Stuck between an angle
A catatonic plight
A half finished puzzle
To share for your delight
In certainty only
Can wrong
make it right.


Copyright (c) David DeSantis

Submitted: Monday, May 05, 2008
Edited: Tuesday, January 06, 2009

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Comments about this poem (***Ex- Girlfriends by David DeSantis )

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  • Liz Thaugally (9/6/2009 3:58:00 AM)

    Hi David, dropped by and re-read some of my favourite poems on here including this one.10/10. Although I belive we could also relate this to ex-boyfriends too! new poems on my own website, please do have a look when you have time!

    Love,
    Lizelah.
    www.lizelah.co.uk (Report) Reply

  • R H (5/17/2008 11:19:00 AM)

    From the 'uncertain drops of anguish', the words in this poem don't just flow, they cascade to expose a surge of thoughts and images that ultimately beguile. The blending of shapes, colours and confusion give this poem an abstract quality that is both vbrant and lasting. justine. (Report) Reply

  • ~ Jon London ~ (5/6/2008 6:05:00 PM)

    Ahh, bro...the very creatures that can make or break a man, I'm really not the one that can comment to be honest..as I'm still lost in this world waiting to be saved..but I love your magical way with expression...genius mate..


    Stay strong
    Jon (Report) Reply

  • Onelia Avelar (5/6/2008 7:16:00 AM)

    Yeay! This is the new poem? I like it very much: Uncertain drops / Of anguish /
    Filter through the night / While waste water / Droplets / Remove any light... Every new poem is better and better. I like the lightness of the metre and of the style of this one. (Report) Reply

  • Ivor Hogg (5/5/2008 4:20:00 PM)

    confusion reigns supreme in the wee small hours looking back over what could have been but is not (Report) Reply

  • Michael Campbell (5/5/2008 10:41:00 AM)

    great poem. lots of confusion running rampant in the back of the mind. i really enjoyed this one. lately you've been hitting my target well enough. thanks chief smoke. (Report) Reply

  • Kaela F. (5/5/2008 9:28:00 AM)

    How accurately does this describe the confusion of emotions running through one's head during a breakup...Very wonderful writing. I enjoyed reading this very much...it captured the feelings to the 't' of how a breakup is. (Report) Reply

Read all 13 comments »

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