Goodbye Poem by Emily Myers

I look at you glowing; smiling down at the bundle in your arms
Radiating happiness in so many different forms
I smile, automatic, trying to feel the things I know I should
But recoiling inside, feeling hatred I never thought I could
Just an infant, he’s brand new and flawless, its not his fault
I lost my own joy before he was even just a thought
You are ecstatic and there is no way you can understand
carelessly you flaunt him, and it breaks me once again
Even after months of saying every day, I’m fine
Deep within my soul it hurts, I cry, I cry, I cry
One day I’ll have a baby, and I will feel the things I missed
I’ll radiate with joy and glow inside out with bliss
But even then, with my own to hold, a part of me will cry
For the child I will never hold, whom I still can’t tell goodbye