Guns In Bars Poem by Luke Easter

Hey! Why not bring back the days of Doc Holiday and Wyatt Earp?
Certainly, allow guns everywhere do we not have sinners in church?
Equal opportunity against safety, shoot that guy harassing your gal,
No more Turner Classic Movies to see Gunfight At The OK Corral.

And while we are at it do not stop with allowing guns in bars,
My twelve year old asks me everyday for the keys to our car,
Then we might as well let them have pet lions, tigers & bears,
If we’re going to be that stupid let every senseless act be fair.

Too bad he’s dead and drowned because I’d say invite Osama,
Let him give the keynote speech introducing President Obama,
Life’s too boring anyway let’s spice it up with some real drama,
The next time she tells you to take out the trash slap your mama.

“Stupid is as stupid does” just where in the heck is Forrest Gump?
No faster than 40 mph on the turnpike every ¼ mile a speed bump,
Why can’t doctors operate & lawyers practice with a 2-year degree?
Come to think of it forget exotic animals as pets let them all run free.

Not only that, why do we need a president, a congress or a house?
When you go to Burger King order a Whopper with triple mouse,
No more rodent problems by serving them it would sure end soon,
Image this special at Hot Sauce Williams, fries, slaw & Q-raccoon.

Hit the lottery, spent $500,000.00 on a new ride what do you think?
Customized Mercedes, Bentley, Ferrari, Lambo? Na! Bradley Tank,
Cleveland has laid off over 640 schoolteachers and I say, that’s all?
Well not really, process of elimination who’s, quickest on the draw?

Breaking & entering, CCW, forgery, assault, theft, no longer a crime,
Get caught, workhouse, probation? 2-weeks on Princess Cruse Lines,
Kill or wound someone over a game of pool, no worries as all is fine,
Beat the crap out of your opponent in hockey,5-minute penalty time.

Police departments should not be allowed to give tickets anymore,
Erase burglary from the books let the crooks walk in the front door,
Whether or not Columbus discovered anything we’ve come too far,
To have legislation pass any bill that would allow, “Guns in Bars.”