Gyn: 'not Tonight, Dear'....[sexual Relations In An Otherwise-'successful' Marriage; Not Anyone I Know! ! ; Medium Length Poem ] Poem by Bri Edwards

I've an old friend, a married and virile aging male....
who recently mentioned his marital sex- travail.
He reached a climax.... [please pardon my pun].....
by saying: ' My marital-sex adds up to.........NONE! '

That's right my friends; you heard me most clearly.
NO sex with his mate, for YEARS; he misses it dearly.
I've heard him in the past suggest another 'source' for sex,
but (as you may know) that solution may be quite complex.

She reported that she had: 'Female Problems', HE said.
He was sympathetic, but continued, saying: 'I'm NOT dead!
I still 'have needs'! ! Bri, old friend, what DO you suggest? '

[I had a thought but I kept it to myself; I think that was best.]

You see, my friends, I OFTEN visited at their home, 'over the years',
and most times I've slept there..........after an evening of many beers.
My friend would drink too much, get sleepy, and go off to HIS bedroom.
His wife would then take me to HERS, where she and I.....did 'Boom-boom'.

The fact is she has NO 'female problems'. Of that, I'd swear on a Bible.
I could write about it and NEVER be found guilty....[by a Female jury]....of libel.

Sometimes, when women say 'It hurts' or 'It's that time of month', they LIE.
And, given the opportunity, they have extramarital sex....[I know]....'on the sly'.

My friend's wife has told me (pillow talk) WHY....[with him]......she's frigid:

'There are SEVERAL reasons; one is that his demands are too rigid.
He insists on always being the one on top. Can you believe THAT! ?
AND, when he's been drinking, after 5 minutes.....[with no results].....he GOES FLAT! '

But there are OTHER reasons, not closely-related to 'you-know-what'.
His drinking and over-eating have given him a flabby, GIGANTIC gut!
Not only is he heavy 'on top', but she's embarrassed.....to be seen....
with him at 'Church', the grocery store, .......or anywhere 'in between'.

AND he smokes, a LOT, and his hair and clothes smell of SMOKE.
AND, when at a party together, she cringes when he tells a stupid joke.
So, you see, she's got NO 'female problems'; at least none: .......'GYN'.
Her problem IS her husband. She's quite 'friendly' with....Other Men.

SHE.......still.....has..... needs.......ALSO! !

(April 2nd, 2017)