Half An Inch Poem by Randy Johnson

It pains me to say that my penis is only half an inch long.
It's extremely embarrassing because I have a tiny schlong.
I never use urinals while out in public, I only use stalls.
I can not let other men know that my prick is so small.

I got so mad at my ex-wife that I wanted to beat her.
She was going to tell my friends and co-workers about my tiny peter.
I said if she exposed me, I'd expose her baldness and that she wears a wig.
My ex-wife had our marriage annulled because my wiener isn't very big.

Women say that penis size isn't important to them but it's more important than they admit.
A blind date started making fun of my tiny wiener so I started making fun of her tiny tits.
When it comes to being successful with women, I don't have a chance.
If you have a tiny dick, don't let anybody see it, keep it in your pants.