Hand Of Cards Poem by Joshua Hillard

Mentally I'm uncapable,
Physically I'm unstable,
How one insignificant heart,
Can lay its own cards on the table,

My mind is an acid,
Deteriorating every thought of potential happiness,
A constant steady throb hammering through my chest,
Knowing I'll never find the meaning of peacefulness,

How can life treat one so cruel,
When we all assumed life was meant as a treasure,
I do all I can to remain a prophecy,
But now I'm crumbling under pressure,

I constantly struggle to find a key,
To unlock a hidden door I have not found,
A paradise land where no one has been,
To where we all yearn to walk its ground,

A luscious place full of sun and light,
Where no hate or pain could ever exist,
A willingness to extend our fate,
Only to acknowledge our sorrow will only persist,

This realm of hope will never appear,
I add this up to what has been bought,
I was the consumer to my own heart's hunger,
To love and be loved is what I thought,

It's the greatest direct infliction of pain,
Where it all begins to turn your life on you,
Instead of battling the world, you're among yourself,
So now all you possess has become known as true,

Now all I can do in this world is grief,
My mind is the weapon attacking its ownself,
One day I'll find this door to my own path,
But until than I play the hand I have been dealt.