Heart, Desire, Pride! Poem by EnVY Aaa

The ambulance sirens that put me to sleep each nite
is also my alarm clock, it wakes me up right on time.
Sometimes I blame myself for what happen to my kids,
They all gone like they were put in a death jar with a tight lid.
I had 3 of them, each with different father,
born one after the other.
My first born was abducted from my tent,
he was taken by that ugly man.
He gave him milk and honey and,
treated him in a nice manner as if he had a plan
who left him on the seas for bird to feed off.
He was my heart….you left my heart out there to die…
My second born was very beautiful,
All wanted her, some do all they could for her attention
She was smart and knew not to give in,
BUT what killed her is the deep trust in her friend,
She spiked her food with unknown substance
which took her life in less than a second.
She was my desire….
my desire to be a follower of God
was demolished by someone’s covetousness
My third one just liked to enjoy life,
He would dress in fancy, lavish clothes
And go out till one day his life was blocked
He was held against his will with weapons while robbed
Away went his clothes, his pride and confidence
He must have saw his heavenly father with guilt,
not knowing weather to worry about the bruises that was put on his body
or the fact that he could have lived a more divine life.
My pride was stripped naked
My body was taken against my will.
What more for me to live for?
My heart, desire and pride gone.
There was nothing but grief and mourn till it hit me at dawn
When the ambulance sirens reminded of when they used to live
I remember that I have one thing that is still alive, and will not die…
MY MIND,
using it I can ask the doctor for a new heart,
I can pray for the start of a new desire,
And I can rebuild my pride over time.
They may not be the same as my first, second born,
but its worth the time while I’m still living.
I went back to sleep with a non-siren,
peaceful music that continued till the morning.
The same music kept me going..kept me going..kept me going! !