Here I Am Again G-D Poem by Marta Mehrpouyan

Here I am again G-d,
heart in hand and soul naked,
stripped of all that helps me fake it
in this world that you've created.
I have kept silent much too long
I have kept silent to hear better the noises,
the voices that call to me,
from the blue of the sky, from the grass, from the trees.
You have heard them G-d, You know them,
they are the voices of hope
that give men maimed in battle new hands and blind men sight,
teaching them a new way to cope.
They are the noises of the crackling fires set in the arctic cold
to ward from snow that burns deeper than flames,
those voices of lives destroyed by an indifference
that annihilates quicker than the worse violence.
Being silent... trying to pray,
I have heard the voices that ascend from the depths of the sea,
voices of everything that there lives
and of all the wishes that go unfulfilled
and sadly, tearfully,
in the cold waters of the ocean sink.
I have kept quiet
as if I were dreaming of a long imagined trip;
warmly quiet
as a gun after a war must feel...
when there is nothing else to kill.
Soon I'll watch the trees undress, lusting for the coming snow
but now its summer and I feel a crippling sadness take hold,
for I cannot forgive myself having been deaf before,
not having heard the cracking of the ice under me braking off
and allowing my life and his to fall through the crack that formed.
I bring to You my heart,
troubled, broken, and with the voices of a struggling world filled.
With the realization that there is nothing I can do
I place it in Your hands G-d, do with it as You would

(July 2009)