This must be a new poetic form I am not familiar with. It's interesting though it leaves me hungering for more. Almost like the skeleton of a larger poem that could be truly beautiful with some meat on it? Ha! I think that to replace 'indigestible' with 'hard to swallow' would be a slight improvement and I might also substitute 'a friend's brutal honesty' for simply 'the brutal honesty.' Some honesty is motivated by hate rather than love.
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This must be a new poetic form I am not familiar with. It's interesting though it leaves me hungering for more. Almost like the skeleton of a larger poem that could be truly beautiful with some meat on it? Ha! I think that to replace 'indigestible' with 'hard to swallow' would be a slight improvement and I might also substitute 'a friend's brutal honesty' for simply 'the brutal honesty.' Some honesty is motivated by hate rather than love.