My jeans zip is popping
My body’s gone all crazy
Everyone is noticing
My memories a bit hazy.
The once upright breasts
Are really dropping
And those hot flushes
Simply aren’t for stopping.
It’s the hormones
That’s what it’s about
And all around my middle
I’m getting rather stout.
There’s nowhere to hide
There’s nowhere to run
My newly acquired moustache
And chin hairs are fit to stun.
I joined a club that weekly meet
They tell me all the can’t haves
I just go home and eat.
Don’t have this don’t have that
I paid all that money just to chat.
Well my feet are still the same size shoe
I could always buy them something new.
Time passes quickly teenage years gone
I’ve no more excuses to rely on
The one about puppy fat ran out long ago
Now it’s time for a revamp from head to toe.
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