How! Poem by Steve Ricketts

How am I supposed to keep living, now there’s only me, didn’t we decide together that we would always be. How do I keep this façade, while I'm crying to myself? How can I expect others to know the pain in me. How do I walk through the door, knowing your not there. What’s the point in cooking, if there’s no one there to share? How do I live a normal life, when normal seems so strange, if this is what normal is, then I must be quite insane. How do I forgive friends that suddenly disappear, or all the others who said they’d hold me near?

How have I become, this stranger to them all, is it something I said, or is it nothing after all. I know that I’m different, but what else could I be, is it so surprising when I’m lost within my grief. For my world’s turned upside down and I can’t find my way, is it any wonder, because I’m lost without a trace. How can I give comfort, when it’s comfort that I need. How can I tell others, when I can hardly speak. How do I stop this crying, that never wants to cease. How do I hide my sorrow, when other bring me cheer, do I tell them they'er not needed, for I am doing fine, just to watch the relief, as it escapes from out their minds.

How do I become ready, for these feelings that dwell inside of me, are they trying to tell me, that my life will never be. How should I feel when I’m missing you? How do I remove my every thought of you? How can I live within the shadow of your life? I could not match the warmth you gave, even when you were alive. How can anyone expect me to carry on, if they were truly sorry, they'd leave me on my own.