John W. McEwers

(6/20/1980 / Nova Scotia, Halifax)

I Couldn't Win A Hot Dog Eating Contest


Japanese, way too slim
and yet he eats hot dogs for a living.
'Where do I sign up? ' I ask,
because it seems like something I'd be good at,
because I'm pretty good at eating hot dogs for free.

Then I watch,
put a pot of hot dog water on to boil
so that I can be part of the action,
but before those franks can heat
I'm ready to wretch.

Too many dogs, too little time,
and he dips the bun in water
and soggy bread makes me gag.

Another dream gone,
and now I can't stand hot dogs.
Thanks for stealing another joy,
Japanese Hot Dog Champion Guy.

Submitted: Friday, February 03, 2012
Edited: Saturday, February 04, 2012
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