I Did Not Know Poem by Mirela Athanas

I did not know that you had died,
Until I saw death straight in the face,
She looked so beautiful in disguise,
And there, like never, I wasn't afraid;

I touched her, caressed her hair,
Kissed her right in the forehead,
Cold as ice was she, with wooden hands,
But I still liked to sit near and stay;

It had never happened before then,
To be so fearless in front of death,
But when she wore world‘s dearest face,
My heart burned deep to warm four hands;

Right there, in truthful mourning I realized,
I knew that death was where my Star laid,
But I did not know that you had died,
So long and long ago before that day;

If it was not for my dearest,
Laying there cold and pale,
I would've thought you still were near
With me in dreams, and thoughts and fairy tales,
The never-ending ones;It was so clear
That everything I thought of you and felt,
After you left so long ago, I fear
It was a lie I tenderly told myself,
Distantly it seemed I felt your heartbeat,
In beautiful sunrises and sunsets,
And appeared as if you were with me,
Be it in dreams that seemed so real,
Or in thoughts of the same wave length;

Serendipity, telepathy or how else did I adhere?
Something, a feeling, no one could grasp,
That was up in the stars and in the air
Were we left it, and was there to ever last,
Until we both were alive or even elsewhere;

But there, was someone who had died,
The dearest one I met inside this World,
Who was the one to make me realize,
many things, and now, what he had told
me long ago, that no Love is worth a sacrifice,
When not reciprocated more, or even tenfold;

In death, when I then saw him with no voice
I Understood how long before him you were gone.
Not gone as gone in going, leaving, left by choice,
But gone, forgotten, more dead than death alone;

Everything fell, all of my dreams, memories thoughts,
And what I had kept alive until that day,
Since you chose, ever since then, long time ago,
To not hold my hand into this moment, into this pathway!