Hira Akhtar

Rookie - 59 Points (19-3-1998 / Gujrat)

I Feel Alone


When morning wears crown,
with white light of early dawn
When the sun goes down,
and day removes its gown
When night shows frown,
and stars brighten up their town

i feel alone
i feel alone

When quaking eve arrives, i bemoan
there in no one of my own
When tantalizing spring,
glamorizes the lawn
Ah! all the desires, now have flown
None to reckon upon
like a bird, being tied to pinion

i feel alone
i feel alone

'In fall season,
when storms rigadoon
to me, no shelter is known
not any shoulder to rest on
When cuckoo sings,
in summer's morn
Indeed! I am hapless and forlorn
Life always glares with scorn'

I feel alone
I feel alone

alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alonealone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone

Submitted: Friday, December 06, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, December 10, 2013

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53 person liked.
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Poet's Notes about The Poem

I feel alone without my mamma..; '(

Comments about this poem (I Feel Alone by Hira Akhtar )

  • Rookie - 220 Points Vinaya Joseph (10/4/2014 5:05:00 AM)

    The void in your life gave birth to such beautiful lines. So cheer up! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Nasir Raza (9/12/2014 2:39:00 PM)

    I'M feeling alone too (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 7,897 Points Khalida Bano Ali (6/30/2014 7:39:00 PM)

    A man is never alone but most of the women are alone in our society. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 16 Points Vivek Mishra (6/30/2014 3:46:00 AM)

    Well, with those lines, You certainly do :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 22,636 Points Akhtar Jawad (5/24/2014 4:38:00 AM)

    A lovely and nice write, a touching poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Joseph Sanchez (4/28/2014 9:20:00 AM)

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 65 Points Tawfeeq Hasan Khan (4/24/2014 8:00:00 AM)

    The last touch with a refrain I feel alone, I feel alone. is really nice, no doubt upon your talent as it makes me shed tears as I too feel alone in this world and I am in search of someone of my own, I have also written few sorts of poems, you can read them if you please...I am from India and I have full faith in Allah as you are determined and that's all, keep your faith too and leave the rest to his part and surely you will be really known to all for your outstanding works.Words fall short to describe your grace, But it's only your heart whom mine can trace... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 59 Points Hira Akhtar (4/2/2014 11:40:00 PM)

    thanks guys...i've faith in myself and i'll improve inshaa Allah (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Jesus Christ (4/2/2014 11:08:00 AM)

    Why put so much aloneseseseses because dat be too much? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Jesus Christ (4/2/2014 11:07:00 AM)

    That no make sense to poem 0/10 use flames to burn it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Totes Sheldon (4/2/2014 10:51:00 AM)

    I don't think this poem is about being alone. It's about how when you drive a car, you see cows on the side of the road and then you hit one, and then you drink its milk because it exploded and then you show up at your grandma's house covered in milk. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 97 Points Biplab Singha (3/30/2014 4:51:00 AM)

    I like your love for your mamma Hira. I understand your feelings how you have expressed your onliness without your mamma. Great! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 59 Points Hira Akhtar (2/8/2014 5:28:00 AM)

    thank you so much sir... :)
    and its always been pleasant to read your suggestions as i tell you every time...
    I am on very early stage in the field of poetry and i'll learn gradually because of some discouraging comments i cann't stop my work i will write wrie and on day i'll be improved, not perfect i'll say because no one can ever be perfect in any matter except Allah and His Prophe SAW......and i would need the people like you in my way to success :) (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,586 Points Bri Edwards (2/7/2014 3:05:00 PM)

    HIRA, my comments,

    YOU left this comment to your readers:
    Thank you so much all who encouraged me and thanks to those also who discouraged, i am happy at this as well... :)
    I SAY: gulsher john's comment may have discouraged you, but i'm sure it was meant to do just the opposite.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - -.

    When night shows frown,
    and stars brighten up their town

    these two lines seem, to ME, to contradict one another. i don't associate frown with brighten.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    in the following stanza, i wonder why you enclose it in apostrophes (i think that they would be called apostrophes) . it sounds familiar to me. is it from another one of your poems? ?

    'In fall season,
    when storms rigadoon.....
    .............................................
    ................................................'
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    you have two of the many alones, in the field of alones, touching like this alonealone. is that significant? maybe one of them was feeling particularly lonely and moved up against the other for companionship? ? ?
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Hira, the rhyming does seem forced somewhat, as i believe gulsher john pointed out another time [ [or maybe he was commenting on the poem of another poet; not ME! ] ] i 'love' rhyming but you don't want to lose sight of what you want to say to the readers. of course, if you like it, then it is OK with me. ;) bri

    thanks for sharing. you seem to have a lot of fans. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Steve Chris (2/5/2014 8:12:00 PM)

    i am head over heel in love with this poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Rebekah Stephens (2/1/2014 3:38:00 AM)

    wow lovely poem brilliant (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points Usman Arshad (1/25/2014 4:52:00 AM)

    Allah give you courage that you donot feel alone (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 603 Points Shahzia Batool (1/19/2014 1:39:00 PM)

    a feel, attached to this poem, is transferred to the readers...effective and good in its own right! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 59 Points Hira Akhtar (12/27/2013 8:11:00 AM)

    Thank you so much.......you are right i must not feel alone being with such supporting members and friends... :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 48 Points Natarajan Ramaseshan (12/26/2013 7:21:00 AM)

    The melancholy in the poem deeply touches the reader.Take heart.You are not alone.The beautiful world of poetry is with you and will be a true company. Immerse yourself in it.Good luck (Report) Reply

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