I Hate Spell Chick Poem by Jim Yerman

Is there anyone out there who likes spell check, you know, in your phone...that clown
Who takes the words you want to say and turns them all around.

He isn’t very nice, he can be vulgar, gross and crude
He will take the words you’ve painstakingly chosen and quickly change the mood.

There are many examples of his X-rated potty mouth but I write for the family
So I’ve chosen as my moral obligation to keep today’s rhyme rated G.

Like the person who was invited to a pool party and was certainly misled
When the text they received said they were invited to a poop party instead.

Or the wife whose text: ‘I’m out getting pregnant’ I’m sure set her husband a-tingle
Imagine his relief when she walked through the door holding only a can of Pringles.

Then there’s the woman who texted her friends about her dear husband Fred
She never saw the surprise on their faces when their texts read Fred was dead.

Or how about the Caucasian man who from his co-workers caught a lot of flack
When he texted I’m stepping out...but in a minute I’ll be black.

We’ve all been there. We’v all had those moments where we’ve lost dignity or grace
When no matter how careful we are, the wrong word enters cyber space.

I proofread my text and swear it’s perfect but spell check is so devious and mean
It makes changes only after I hit send...and then they show up on my screen.

I immediately scream NO! (or something X-rated) then quickly amend the text
And wonder what that crazy spell checking scoundrel is planning for me next.

I wish I could disable this feature, it’s something I would gladly disown.
I seemed to get along just find without it...before I purchased this phone.

Yes, if I had the choice to axe spell check...It wouldn’t take me very long.