I Know It's Only Make Believe Poem by gershon hepner

I KNOW IT'S ONLY MAKE BELIEVE


I know it's only make believe what you have told me.
You take advantage of the fact you've overbowled me
by telling me the things you know I want to hear,
but they are only make believe, I know, and don't just fear.

I've told you all my hopes and shared with you my dreams,
and you've pretended to take interest, but it seems
to me quite certain that you haven't really paid
much notice of them, though attention should be paid.

Your songs to me have been erotics of great danger
since for the longest time you've been to me a stranger.
Your told me that your heart was mine when I told you
that mine was yours, but what you told me wasn't true.

I used to pray that one day you would come to care
about me, and that one day you would start to share.
my hopes and dreams, but it's myself I'm been deceivin'
when all this time I trusted in your make believin'.

Joe Caramanca writes about Fiona Apple's ("Fiona Apple Returns to the Faithful, " NYT,3/25/12:

Fiona Apple has control. That's clear from the moment she took the stage on Friday night at the Music Hall of Williamsburg in Brooklyn. She opened with some patter about missing her dog (of whom she had a painting) , an insistence that people in the crowd not talk during the show and then announced, "I will give you everything I can possibly give you, " before opening her first New York concert in five years with a staggeringly loud, brightly alive "Fast as You Can, " spitting out her syllables in carefully measured cadences, her body shivering with vigor. Vibrating hot and fast was the order of the night, the release of long pent-up energy. Ms. Apple's fourth album, "The Idler Wheel is wiser than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords will serve you more than Ropes will ever do, " (Epic) is scheduled for a June release, about 16 years after her debut. In recent weeks she's unveiled some of the new material during a small tour. During this show Ms. Apple moved between the microphone at center stage and a piano off to the side with an array of votive candles on top. Slender and toned, she wore a green tank top; her muscles spoke loudly as her body moved in precise ways on each song. On "Paper Bag" she held her hand tight against her stomach, muscles flexing, as she swayed side to side ever so slightly. During "Sleep to Dream" she stretched up against the piano like a cat, yawning with her frame. These were careful maneuvers that played as a contrast to Ms. Apple's voice, which can be raspy and slithery and unhinged when she so chooses. Her band — Blake Mills on guitar, Sebastian Steinberg on bass and Amy Wood on drums — matched that range, creating a vivid and flexible noise that veered from gnarled rock to dirty blues. Mr. Mills, in particular, was intense, coaxing lust and anguish from his instrument.
Ms. Apple played three songs from the forthcoming album: "Anything We Want, " "Valentine" and "Every Single Night." On all three Mr. Steinberg played upright bass (for much of the rest of the show he played an electric bass) , creating a more subdued mood. It hardly mattered that as a piece they were slightly more tentative than her older material. But they were all on the Apple continuum. For all the time that she takes between records, Ms. Apple doesn't change much from album to album. She has always been part blues woman, part dark cabaret singer, part illicit rock confessor. Her songs limn the erotics of danger and also the pains of disappointment, drawing equal strength from both. This was most clear in the raw sweat of "Anything We Want":

My scars were
Reflecting the mist in your headlights
I look like a neon zebra
Shaking rain off her stripes
And the rivulets
Had you riveted
To the places I wanted you to
Kiss me

In 2005 fans gathered outside the Sony building in Midtown Manhattan in a protest against her label, Epic, which they accused of meddling with Ms. Apple's creativity and needlessly holding up the release of her album "Extraordinary Machine."
There has been no indication of major-label meddling this time around, and why would there be? At this moment in the record industry any label would be thrilled to have an artist with a fan base passionate enough to stage a protest on her behalf. In short, Ms. Apple the artist might not need the Internet to cultivate her fan base. But Ms. Apple the phenomenon has certainly benefited from it. The Internet has rejiggered the industry to think differently about star making. Ms. Apple is a mainstream cult artist, which is increasingly what the new model is coming to look like. This was a sold-out show, filled with a fervent crowd, some with tears in their eyes. Her fans have been waiting for Ms. Apple, and they were prepared to wait as long as she took. They were rewarded with charged performances of old songs: a panting "On the Bound, " a forceful "Sleep to Dream, " a "Carrion" on which she was practically barking out words, and after stopping "Extraordinary Machine" a few bars in after realizing she'd opened in the wrong key, a sly rendition of that song. She closed with a breathy, mildly melancholy cover of "It's Only Make Believe, " the Conway Twitty song about foolish, unreciprocated love that Ms. Apple said she knew from the Screamin' Jay Hawkins version."I do love you, " she said afterward, then grabbed the painting of her dog and strode offstage. The crowd clapped and hollered for a long time, hoping to coax her back — needing to, really — but Ms. Apple was done.
Conrad Twitty's song of "Its Only Make Believe" has the following lyrics.

People see us everywhere.
They think you really care.
But myself, I can't deceive,
I know it's only make believe.

My one and only prayer, is that some day, you'll care.
My hopes, my dreams come true, my one and only you.
No one will ever know, how much I love you so.
My only prayer will be, some day you'll care for me,
But it's only make believe.

My hopes, my dreams come true, my life, I'd give for you.
My heart, a wedding ring, my all, my everything.
My heart I can't control; you rule my very soul.
My only prayer will be, some day you'll care for me,
But it's only make believe.

My one and only prayer, is that some day, you'll care.
My hopes, my dreams come true, my one and only you.
No one will ever know, how much I love you so.
My only prayer will be, some day you'll care for me,
But it's only make believe.

3/25/12 #9688