I'M Choking On Words; Poem by Tiffani Williams

you’ll never say.
and I’m losing things,
I never had.
and I’m falling in holes
that we never dug,
they just were,
there for reasons
we can’t explain.
I’m taking breathes,
but there’s no air.
I’m losing you
but you were never here.
and she watches me,
and shakes her broken neck,
and for once,
I’m glad she’s dead.
but I know
she never lived,
to do anymore
that break me down.
I’m losing her
and I hope she burns in hell.
and I’m proud of the death
that I have caused
cause I never wanted her around
and I hated the mirror even more
when she was reflected back,
because somewhere
between me, the glass,
light and air,
I lost the truth
and because of her,
I didn’t care.
but now I’m losing you
on top of it all,
and I’m falling
in the holes,
I’d swear
she dug.
if I didn’t know
I never had good luck.
and you were the only thing
that made everything worthwhile.
and I just don’t think
I was meant to smile
for longer than a second
and happiness wasn’t meant
to be more than
something I glued to my face
to fool you
when I didn’t want to explain
how I felt,
but it’s bound time you knew.
and she looks back
finger over mouth
reminding me
“silence is golden”
but I’m tried of being broken
from all the words
I’ve never spoken.
she shakes her finger
and I revisit shame.
and he shakes my hand;
and I feel like I’m meeting
an friend that I don’t want to know anymore.
because 2’s company
and three is a crowd
and right now,
I need you and that’s all
and I have to drag along
who I’m making out to be me
and the truth will sit me free.